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Everyone is familiar with the life of Saint Mason, but not all have heard the fine details of the extraordinary history of this widely misunderstood man.

The saintly Mason Eckhart spent his life striving to save humanity from extinction due to the technical bad judgment of Adam Kane.

With but a single glance from Saint Mason, Adam ceased his unwise creation of genetic anomalies by the thousands.

When the shadow of Saint Mason fell upon Brennan Mulwray, he repented his misspent life and swore never again to do murder or even pick pockets. Steadfastly, he kept faith until 8.37 PM that same day, when he found himself short of cash.

After Saint Mason placed his gloved hand on her shoulder, Danielle Hartman ceased sleeping around with anything possessing mismatched chromosomes, and was a better mother. Never again did Catherine come home to a note reading, “Having dinner with an old friend”.

When the eyes of Saint Mason fell upon Lorna Templeton, she repented her scorpionesque ways, and bound her stinger claws with rubber bands until the venomous appendages dried up and fell away.

With a mere glance from Saint Mason, Ken Harrison promised to stop posing as a medical doctor and to limit himself to botany, a field in which he was actually trained.

After Saint Mason found her whining and tearing the skin of innocents, Charlotte Cooke not only repented of her whiney ways but clipped her nails and took up the wearing of gloves in the manner of Saint Mason.

Many, many were the vices of Noah Kilmartin, but applying his own gentle persuasion, Saint Mason convince him to call his son Jesse once each week. Noah kept this promise for three months, faithfully calling Jesse collect.

Despite these and many other wonderful deeds, there remain those who speak darkly of Saint Mason.

They speak blasphemy.